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altarcations
Media Wedding of the Year
Yesterday marked the merger of two rising lieutenants in Manhattan's Media Mafia as The New York Observer's Spencer Morgan and Vanity Fair executive fashion editor Alexis Bryan were married in Houston. But just who are these two newlyweds, really? More »
altarcations
Wedding Announcements So Compelling They Made A Movie
We are not particularly proud of the fact that we saw 27 Dresses over the weekend, but it's a fact and what's done is done. (Here's the trailer, to the left.) Shame and guilt aside, the weddings section of a New York Journal is prominently featured throughout the movie. Katherine Heigl's obsessed and cuts out her favorite wedding write-ups and saves them; her love interest played by James Marsden is the Journal's lead wedding writer. As such, a much-needed bit relevancy was bestowed upon this feature. Take that, South Carolina primaries! After the jump, Altarcations' awards for the best and worst wedding announcements in yesterday's Times. More »
altarcations
Multi-ethnic-est Couple And Other Awards
Alexis Swerdloff hands out awards to the couples who celebrated their nuptials with a write-up this weekend in the New York Times. More »
altarcations
Alixandra Smith & Daniel Richenthal Are A Success!
The Weddings and Celebrations in the Sunday 'New York Times' are a textual analysis-rebuffing, context-free and statistically random series of events described objectively that have nothing to do with the fact that you're single and still using that one dirty towel after you shower. You HUMAN FILTH. Intern Alexis judges the vows.
Which is more matrimonabulous: Having the judge you once clerked for officiate at your wedding—or mentioning in your announcement that you were among the physicians who treated Brooke Astor? Let's see, shall we?
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altarcations
Douglas O'Connor And Jeanne Conway Are Happier Than You
The Weddings and Celebrations pages of the Sunday 'New York Times' don't have to be read. You can totally pass it by! Then you won't feel bad that you had Wheat Thins for dinner all alone last night and let your ex-boyfriend sleep over last week, you unmarriageable piece of mess! More »
altarcations
Martha Sutphen And Richard Stock Have Something To Sort Out
The weekly Weddings and Celebrations section in the 'New York Times' is your guide to who is superior to you—and who is worse than whom. But don't you know: They're all winners, because they're newly-married, and you're single again, or thinking about a divorce, and just generally losing all the time. It's like the brilliant Ann Magnuson always said: Maybe you should have married Junior, the Vietnam vet parking attendant! Would it be so bad?More »
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Deborah Kolben And Gal Beckerman Are Getting Married
Former Village Voice managing editor Deborah Kolben and Columbia Journalism Review's Gal Beckerman are getting hitched! "A sunset walk on a beach in Mexico, a couple of beers, a sobbing Debbie," is how Beckerman described his proposal. Gag. "I never thought of myself as that girl," Kolben said, "But the second I had a ring on my finger, it was 'Take a picture! Take a picture!'" Heh. What has Kolben been up to since being axed by the Voice in September, after six months on the job? Well, a piece she wrote for the New York Times last weekend on a Flatbush Dunkin' Donuts run by a Jewish woman and a Muslim man ran under the headline "Worshipping Different Gods (But United On The Pork Issue.)" We love it when the Times makes awkward and erroneous jokes about religion! A correction was swiftly issued: "A headline last Sunday about a Muslim man and an Orthodox Jewish woman who are partners in two Dunkin' Donuts stores described their religions incorrectly. The two faiths worship the same God—not different ones." [Photo by David Reeves.]
Remember that guy A.O. Scott, the Times critic we gave thanks for on Wednesday? This is what I found out about him at Thanksgiving. First, he's the son of Joan Wolloch Scott and Donald Scott. She is the smart-sounding Harold F. Linder Professor at the School of Social Science in the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton, NJ. Donald Scott is the less-smart sounding (but equally smart) Professor of American History at CUNY. But you could get all that you could get from Wikipedia. This, you can't: On A.O. Scott's wedding day ten or so years ago BOTH his parents announced they were gay. Apparently smart people can have bad timing. This also explains A.O.'s very tortured and complex relationship with Margot at the Wedding!
altarcations
Susanne Nifong and Benjamin Baker Really Love Horses
The Weddings and Celebrations pages of the New York Times are where we go to feel bad about not being on the boards of charitable organizations or having 'IV' after our names. And also, today, where we go to feel bad that no one has ever proposed to us in the presence of a horse. More »
altarcations
Whitney Rice And Edward Childs Are Cuckoo For Connecticut
The Weddings and Celebrations pages of the 'New York Times' are where the elite announce their TRIUMPH. They did it—they beat you, they beat poverty and, for now, usually, they even beat cancer. Our Intern Alexis picks a winner among the winners.
If last week's Altarcations was dreary save for the bright light emanating from journalist Greg Lindsay's beaming grill, this week's made up for it. Was it going to be the son of the chairman, the chief executive and founder of the Blackstone Group? The cute hipster-looking French and English doctoral candidates? Franc and Al, helmers of Franc and Al's Movie Foyer (even though Franc's "not big on Judy"), one of the two female rabbis? Or the D'Aulaire descendant? We loooooved D'Aulaires "Book of Greek Myths"! And we also love platonic roommates who hook up after drinking too much wine in Spain and then decide to get married! But in the end, it was none of the above.
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altarcations
Greg Lindsay And Sophie Donelson Almost Have It All
The Weddings and Celebrations announcements in the 'New York Times' are a battlefield. Everyone there must stand alone. And no one, not even our Intern Alexis, can tell these people that they're wrong. They are trapped by their love and chained to each others' side. More »
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Divorce Is The New Marriage
A recent mass-emailed divorce announcement made Salon's Nora Zelevansky and her boyfriend "feel like intruders, as if we were guests at a wedding for anyone other than our dearest friends and family." But these emails, and the attendant divorce parties and ceremonies, are becoming de rigeur. "Some divorcees embrace announcements and parties as a way to put the word out on their own terms and with their own public spin," Nora writes, explaining that "Christine Gallagher, the Los Angeles author of 'The Divorce Party Planner,' agrees that 'The tone of the announcement can speak volumes about what happened, so that others don't feel it's an unmentionable subject.' Perhaps Robert Olen Butler, the recently-jilted author of a Pulitzer-winning book and also the craziest email we've ever seen, could have benefited from Christine's book! She also "believes a theme party is key to salving the soul."
altarcations
Victoria Lim And Peter Sheren Got Married Three Times
Do you believe in love? Perhaps you do! But you totally definitely believe in money. Because it's very hard to love when you have no money and you're hungry! The Weddings and Celebrations section of the 'New York Times' is where money and love meet, and where our Intern Alexis finds that in the mix, someone always comes out the winner. More »
altarcations
Samantha Gregory & Roberto Benabib Are High On Love
Great news! Did you know that the Weddings and Celebrations section of the 'New York Times' exists to transform you on a lazy Sunday afternoon from Kathy Griffin to Cathy Guisewite? It's true! Studies show that reading what we used to call 'Vows' actually sets your internal feminism and self-esteem clocks back eight years. Anyhoo, put down that Ben & Jerry's, unloved fatty, and let's see who won the battle of the marriages this week!More »
altarcations
Sarah Jewett & Brian Smith Are Totally Out Of Steps
Every week, the New York Times' Weddings and Celebrations section lets you know which powerful, rich, famous, and/or attractive people are joining like in holy matrimony and the conspiracy to grind your hopes and dreams to dust. And every week, our Intern Alexis subjects the happy couples to her tough-but-fair rating system. More »
altarcations
Virginia Boyd And J. B. Lockhart IV Will Share Her Steamship Inheritance
"The concept of marriage must have been thought up by an unimaginative pig," Albert Einstein once said. Every week, Intern Alexis reads the Times' Weddings And Celebrations section to see who's still buying the concept, and, by extension, each other. More »
altarcations
WASP Fight: Daisy Wademan And Luc Dowling Are Whiter Than Thou
Each week, Intern Alexis demonstrates what we know to be true: That the Weddings and Celebrations section of the 'New York Times' is for faux-starry-eyed future-divorcees who are setting themselves up for current social status and future windfall divorce settlements. Here's to them!
It was the battle of the Mayflower descendants this week, as two separate couples (Daisy Wademan & Luc Dowling and Shanon Iorio & Robert Collins) included descendants of John Alden and Priscilla Mullins, pilgrims who were present and accounted for on the Mayflower. Bzzzzzzzrrrrrrrrtzzzz!! (Is that the sounds WASPs make when they fight?) Only one couple can, however, emerge as the victor.
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